1st Wacom Tablet Piece

OMG! Made my first drawing on my brand new wacom tablet! Lookit! Click the title to see it, whee!

Brief Bloggy Bits

I'm sorry I haven't been chatty lately. I have been rockin' the OT & had yesterday off for the 1st time in 2-3 wk. It's all a blur, really, a horrible, ugly blur. But I have started thinking about fall & what to knit to keep me toasty. I'm thinking leaning more towards the steampunk in my style, so neutrals/browns/cream.
I have a delicious idea for armwarmers that I would love to wear right now, except that it's not been below 85 in the past 2 gaddam weeks *faints from heat prostration & frustration*. I have some leftover yarn (by 'some' I mean 'a metric-ass ton of') in a soft bunny rabbit tan & some cream left over that I shall prolly cart along on the plane to KS to make the arm warmers with, pictures will ensue . Also contemplating new gaiters/legwarmers in the steampunk colorway.
DANCING with impatience to get the book on designing lace from the library that I asked for via interlibrary loan. I love the Concord Public Library, But I gotta say, their arts/crafts & scifi/fantasy is not really great. I wish people would actually think for themselves & buy what looks interesting not what famous people *kofoprahkof* tells them to read.
Gotta tweak the 1st installment of The Nonesuch Papers & get the drawings done, have them currently stored in my bwains & only changing one, because the angle wil be better & I won't have to crosshatch as many fuckin' stones on a fountain in one scene. Not that I don't enjoy it tremendously, actually. How do you spell OCD? LOL. But my wrist has been a twitching burning mess lately so I started wearing a wristwarmer again. Also having idea for illustration of The Child King by Abney Park. I shall throw that down this weekend....

Yippie Kai Yay, Puddy Tat!

Hey kids. Still doing that overtime thang (& scheduled on a day when I bloody well asked for it off. Scowling Sandy is scowling!), so this will prolly be spotty, but I felt like chatting. I shouldn't complain about the overtime, because mama needs a new laptop bag, a graphics tablet & well, CASH, lol. Ooh, speakina fundage I got my tix for KS, W00T! Very happy I got that out of the way, it was getting pricier by the day, hoboy....
I have a lot of different ideas all the time, which is like herding cats. It makes me talk to myself, stop & stare into space & do the *fingersnap/scrabble* for drawing pad/notepad in public ALL the time. Sometimes it gets a bit difficult because I want to do *everything* @ once. The fact that this planet @ this place & time doesn't have affordable/available resources for me to get a 2nd pair of arms grafted on is a daily annoyance I assure you. And the fact that the capitol of NH rolls up its streets @ 7pm & doesn't get cracking until @ least 10am.
Anyway. I have a lot I want to do, art-wise. However, I also have a PhD on getting in my own way. I am a HUGE internet junkie & often say that I would happily have a cranial jack so that I can be online continually. However the intarwebz is a huge time suck, so I have to make a concious decision to shut down pages like http://www.deviantart.com/ where I could stay until my eyeballs dry out. There's also a dating site I'm on, though gods know why, I've never found anyone that I had more than 1/2 a doz. emails with, even when they professed crushes & flung endearments @ me like scented lace hankies *epic eyeroll* men are another aggrivation, especially when they are so goddam yummy @ the same time *swoons from concomitance of male sexiness/obnoxiousness*.
So I need to make a schedule for myself, which is already wonky because I work 3rd shift weekends & one midweek 2nd shift (boo-hiss, 2nd shift is t3h f41l). But if I don't make myself a schedule & a project list & stick to it, things just won't get done, full stop.
On that note, I gotta go. I have to sketch story ideas & firm up charaters for The Nonesuch Papers, my anthro arcanepunk idea, a ripping serial of Cornelius Nonesuch, an unicorn thrown into a world of international adventure & intrigue, more info forthcoming!
Alternate Title: Get Along, Little Kittehz!

Potlach blog

A little of this & a little of that...
I have several ideas in my fervid little brain for steampunk knitting designs, & it's killing me that I don't have graph paper when I thought I did. After opening my 'treasure chest' @ the foot of my bed I have found, however that I have enough sketch pads to last me about 10 minutes after the heat death of the universe o.O,...HOMG, also I found the aces prologue to the start of a story I thought I'd lost, gonna transcribe that tonight. Anyway, I'm tinkering with a fingerless glove idea 1st & we shall see how that works, because Gods know I already don't have enough pairs of THOSE. But they'd be hella sweet to sell, the steampunk ladies will dig 'em.
I am trying to reserve my flight for visiting my friends in KS @ the end of this month. I need a vacation so bad but Travelocity is telling me it's one price w/taxes then 'prices have changed' & it's nearly double? WTF, like I'm an idiot or something. You're reading the blog of a foul-mouthed dissociative paranoiac. I know everyone's out to get me, you prolly just didn't get the memo yet.
However I will deal w/money things tomorrow as I don't feel that I'm competent to deal with it @ this time. I've got to pay SOMEthing either way & one day won't make enough of a difference for me to honestly care.
Oh, and note to the squiggy guys @ the library: I know when wearing cleavage tops that I invite your blatant gawking, I do. But when you deliberately change seats so you can have a better view, it's a little tacky...ok, a LOT tacky.
Ok, off to bed b4 work & fretting what I should do about the boring rich guy. I honestly think he's a sweetheart, but I've eaten toast more exciting.

I don't drink...whiners

First of all, if I could take a moment to extend a hearty "fuck off & DIE in bloody frothing convulsions" to the l33t haxors who took it upon themselves to dick with twitter, facebook & today, yahoo. I hope that they are caught & their punishment is as follows: Strap these shit-gobbling whoresons down to a chair & take all of their 'action figures' (cause they get all spitty when you call 'em DOLLS) & all of their computer equipment & destroy it ALL. Open the original packages, thereby ruining the value of all their toys & change all of their WOW characters to either old men, skinny elves or flat-chested women. THEN send them, broken & weeping to jail. It'd be like throwing hamstrung lambs into a pirana tank *sigh* so beautiful....


*ahem* Now on to something completely different: Vampires. What's the big deal? I know people have been puzzling this one out because they're so flipping popular right now. Guys could care less whether a female is a vampire as long as she's got the squishy bits & big tits. To misquote Willie Nelson badly: Men will fall for any trap baited with pussy & that's not gonna change any time soon. So there's boys outta the way, let's get to the female point of view, at least as I see it.


Pro #1: Eternal youth & attractiveness.
Women have always been aware of aging. Granted most of us have a moment & think: "WTF, where did the last 10 years go?!" But women have that underlying worry as to the first wrinkle, grey hair, nagging ache. Whether the current world wants to admit it or not, women are only useful/attractive until they've broken past bearing age. Granted that's further along than it usta be, but there's a reason that plastic surgery & the diet & exercise economy are booming like gangbusters. Vampires do not have this problem as long as they're cautious & don't piss anyone off. Younger girls like the pretty boys because of the androgyny of the clean lines of their bodies/faces. Body hair is so YUCKY & men can be so very hairy *dazed look as I fantasize for a moment about this guy: http://imagemkrphoto.deviantart.com/art/BRAWN-25386369 * What? Huh? *ahem* Sorry. These pretty people are frozen @ the moment they were vamped, turned, taken, whatever the 'in' terminology is. The teenage girl sees older women, & half the time it's not even on a concious knowledge, but they know the underlying worry is there, especially in this day & age. Time marches on & it doesn't give a shit about who it steps on. Name me 3 women who would turn down eternal youth & the looks they had when they were young & I will show you 3 of the biggest liars you've EVER met.
Con #1: Watching your loved ones age & die. Becoming a dartboard for every wanna be Van Helsing who can't mind their own freakin' business. Watching everyone but other vamps age & die. Once your 'eternal beloved' vamps you (that is if he doesn't keep you as his um, blood pudding) he goes from beloved to competition for meals.


Pro #2 Cleanliness:
Lets face it. People between the ages of puberty & dead as a boot can STINK. And some men seem to go out of their way to accrete a stank the likes of which would make a zombie toss its kidneys, or whomsoever's kidneys they've nommed recently, lol. And for women, the monthlies can produce its own range of scents & messes that can make a girl not even want to leave the house. BTW, ladies: do yourself a favor & go buy one of these: http://www.divacup.com/ you will thank me. The act of consuming food products leaves our mouths stanky, no matter the cleaning choices. The act of discarding waste, both sweating &, well you know...? Bleh. And we as a society in America have made food such a necessary evil that we've made our kith & kin afraid of it, i.e. anorexia & bulemia. We've tweaked & modified our foodstuffs & made it even worse for the human body than it was in the first place, especially meat. The ultimate diet plan: To merely drink your meals? A mere cut or bite, delicately done, and one is fed for a night. No plates to clear, no nasty veins, gristle or thready strands of meat to pick from your jaws. And if you have your own Haustierblutbeutel, you can monitor its feeding habits. Kinda like free range meat, only w/a nookie option *shifty eyes*.
Con #2: Getting a sense of smell so sensitive that garlic is repulsive, which means vamping it up in Italy is right out. Being driven away from prey because their perfume is so powerful it gags other *humans* out let alone you.

Pro #3 Sensuality & talent:
Here I come to a delicate matter, that most fragile of materials: men's egos. I will indulge myself in TMI when I tell you my first lover was SO bad, that I as a virgin knew he was a lousy lay. I have rarely been impressed since. Most of my lovers have given a nice but VERY basic performance. Some have been quite fun. Two were the kind of lover that makes the *neighbors* light a ciggie afterwards. Others got two trips around the mattress & were frankly blown off with extreme prejudice. What? I have a right to be picky, just like someone going out to eat: If the meal sucks, try the place one more time, if it still sucks, go somewhere else *shrug*. Anyway. Imagine a lover that focuses utterly & entirely on you. Your every breath & physical cue observed with the intensity of a predator & the skill of a virtuoso. They will never tell your secret fantasies: "Hi, I'm a vampire & my girlfriend likes blah blah blah!" "Wait...run that first part past me again?" lol. And every sick little idea that's marched through your head waving a flag? They've done it, probably daily back in the 1800's, when society was REALLY repressed.
Con #3: All humans are boring lays to a vamp that's been cracking hips for @ least 100 years. Realizing that you really ARE literally just a warm body.

So that's my take on the vampire paradigm. Anyone got any different opinions? Discuss. Please note that a mention of the Twilight series, if not well put will be deleted with extreme prejudice. The other two titles I considered for this post: What's bleeding? Gilbert's nape and Bloody Mary? Neat!

Put One Foot In Front of The Other

I cannot grasp the concept of people in my face lately. Guys who want me & this one is especially amusing, as you'd think i'd be a virgin insteada the tart I really am. I HATE being touched, brrr! People @ work calling in to get me to relay messages to others, usually idiotic questions from parents of a sick kid. *shrug* Ain't a human being born yet that comes with a reliable instruction manual & ALL parents are amateurs, no matter how many kids they've pupped. Every one of us is an individual, despite the best work from Madison Ave. We will, all of us, do as we see fit, within shouting distance of local/current laws.

Anyway, I am of the firm opinion that we need a Global Silence Day, seriously. Which is another oddity, because I'm trying to make my artwork & writing make a living for me. Ergo I should be shouting from the rooftops: "Look @ MEEE!" when I would much prefer to perform my sales like a spy-drop from a WWII era flick.

Either way, I have a LOT of work to do & NONE of it is going to be easy. I could sit @ a desk & answer phones 38 hr a week for crap pay @ this job til I grew roots. OR I can do something that I want & enjoy doing for 60+ hrs a week. On the possibility that people will like & enjoy my work. I am a grown up & should be able to wipe my own ass, & any mistakes made are my responsibility. I will be working with a myriad of people to get this idea off the ground, & most of these people who have NO reason to hold my hand or cut me any sort of a break. A friend of mine keeps telling me to stop putting 'negative energy' into things & he has a point. But he's also one of those people that will fall into a lake & come up with pockets full of fish.

This venture is a desire to be my own boss & doing what I want to do. It's also because I am super wicked mega ultra sick of my current job. I'm not stupid enough to just quit, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm @ the place I should have been @ 20 years ago. Ready to go out & make something that I can say: "This is mine. This represents me & my headspace @ this time. And for a relatively small fee, a copy of it can be yours for your viewing pleasure!" *ahem*

The change to living on my artwork isn't going to happen overnight. It might not work @ all whatsoever, but I think it will. I tell a good story, I've been drawing for 30 years of my life, I will appeal to someone. My cheery friend tells me to be more positive & yet he was the 1st one in line to tell me this idea is gonna be a metric-ass ton of work, which I already knew.

BTW: Ballpoint Joint? It's because I usually do my sketches in ballpoint. They're cheap & easy to find & I like the clayey, almost sticky texture the good ones have. And I made it mature content because I swear, but I assure you it will be creative.

This is my 1st signal flare, so to speak. I am here. There will be damp fuses, there will be burnouts & hangfires. But I will never lose th spark that makes me NEED to use my hands & my head to make things. & I will keep trying.