Monday, August 29, 2011

The Party's Over Now

So. I've been given a month to get out of my place. The little tiny room I've lived in for fifteen years, no longer even nominally mine. After a panic attack I have that weird ringing calm you get after an accident, where everything is brighter & clearer than you've ever seen it before. It's adrenaline, I know, but I'm going to surf the crashing blue green wave of panic before it closes over me.

So much has happened here in fifteen years. Everyday happenings and big deals. Snow storms bringing that perfect silence while painting the landscape white. Holidays and workdays, rainy days with soup in the pot and a new book. Learning to crochet, then knit, then spin yarn itself. Days where I lounged with the sun coming in the window. Breezes just as lazy as I, toying with my little wind chime, playing soft little notes to a song millions of years old and new as the morning. And now it's time for me to leave my little home. It isn't much a little one room bed-sit & it obviously isn't now & never really was mine. But it became home, my one little safe nest. Cluttered with books and yarn and everything that makes me me. And now I have to go. I'd love to prate on about my memories, what's happened here, good neighbors and bad, lovers lost and the simple joy of coming home to a secure place. But I can't cling to the past, not now and not anymore.

Problem is, I'm skint. Bust flat broke, and it's my own fault, I make no excuses. I'm already lining up what needs doing and of course my landlords will give me glowing references for fifteen years of minding my own business and paying on the barrel head.

But I need help. Not only do I need to move, I need to fix my car to move with. I simply can't do it alone especially not with this time frame, & my pride is going to have sit back & shut up. The DONATE button is right on this page, the yellow button to the upper right. Please donate if you can, repost if you can't. Also if you could please pray for me, light a candle, sacrifice marshmellow Peeps in the microwave, Boil a pot of linguini to FSM or just send good vibes, I need them more than ever before. My heart is sore within me and I hope and pray for any help that anyone can give. Holy Twelve Bless you and Keep you, everyone. I thank you from the very bottom of my broken heart.