Thursday, August 6, 2009

Put One Foot In Front of The Other

I cannot grasp the concept of people in my face lately. Guys who want me & this one is especially amusing, as you'd think i'd be a virgin insteada the tart I really am. I HATE being touched, brrr! People @ work calling in to get me to relay messages to others, usually idiotic questions from parents of a sick kid. *shrug* Ain't a human being born yet that comes with a reliable instruction manual & ALL parents are amateurs, no matter how many kids they've pupped. Every one of us is an individual, despite the best work from Madison Ave. We will, all of us, do as we see fit, within shouting distance of local/current laws.

Anyway, I am of the firm opinion that we need a Global Silence Day, seriously. Which is another oddity, because I'm trying to make my artwork & writing make a living for me. Ergo I should be shouting from the rooftops: "Look @ MEEE!" when I would much prefer to perform my sales like a spy-drop from a WWII era flick.

Either way, I have a LOT of work to do & NONE of it is going to be easy. I could sit @ a desk & answer phones 38 hr a week for crap pay @ this job til I grew roots. OR I can do something that I want & enjoy doing for 60+ hrs a week. On the possibility that people will like & enjoy my work. I am a grown up & should be able to wipe my own ass, & any mistakes made are my responsibility. I will be working with a myriad of people to get this idea off the ground, & most of these people who have NO reason to hold my hand or cut me any sort of a break. A friend of mine keeps telling me to stop putting 'negative energy' into things & he has a point. But he's also one of those people that will fall into a lake & come up with pockets full of fish.

This venture is a desire to be my own boss & doing what I want to do. It's also because I am super wicked mega ultra sick of my current job. I'm not stupid enough to just quit, but I'm not scared anymore. I'm @ the place I should have been @ 20 years ago. Ready to go out & make something that I can say: "This is mine. This represents me & my headspace @ this time. And for a relatively small fee, a copy of it can be yours for your viewing pleasure!" *ahem*

The change to living on my artwork isn't going to happen overnight. It might not work @ all whatsoever, but I think it will. I tell a good story, I've been drawing for 30 years of my life, I will appeal to someone. My cheery friend tells me to be more positive & yet he was the 1st one in line to tell me this idea is gonna be a metric-ass ton of work, which I already knew.

BTW: Ballpoint Joint? It's because I usually do my sketches in ballpoint. They're cheap & easy to find & I like the clayey, almost sticky texture the good ones have. And I made it mature content because I swear, but I assure you it will be creative.

This is my 1st signal flare, so to speak. I am here. There will be damp fuses, there will be burnouts & hangfires. But I will never lose th spark that makes me NEED to use my hands & my head to make things. & I will keep trying.

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