Dissociative Discourse

Artwork because I can't look at you. I know you love me and I just can't look because I love you too but your eyes hurt me. I'm sorry.
The last part is a line from Ragdoll Physics by Diablo Swing Orchestra

Insomniac's Lullaby

Text overlaying the drawing

It unnerves me to blink and to look directly at you is to acknowledge that this continual grinding annoyance is actually happening and if i could just put my chin far enough over my left shoulder i could escape and your words hit my ears like a iron hammer it makes the oil that flows continally over my eyes waver which makes me fall forward always forward towards a future i've never been ready for but never had any choice but to accept because i was raised that you do the tasks put before you and you do them well the first time or you are stupid but i know that i'm actually quite intelligent however a near absent lack of ambition and an utter fear of success as well as failure leaves me stranded on this tiny slippery little rock in the middle of a cold fast river that's too deep for me to swim.

However it is the task before me.

Sink or swim.

Either way two hours of sleep in the last thirty six really aren't quite enough, even for me.

Please excuse my behavior, i'm not really sure what's going to happen next, not even within my own head.

Lay thee down now and rest, may thy slumber be blessed

FISTS OF FURY!

Why must the entire world in contact with me work on my fucking nerve at every turn? Why whenever I try & either get ahead or do something personally fulfilling or just FUCKING BE HAPPY? Why must you fuck with me universe? WHY? I just want to get ahead. I just want to find someone that has a fucking heart, brain AND A SPINE. BUT NO.
I have a Cú Chulainn migraine, I am so angry. I can't see out of my left eye.
I want nothing more than to see someone I loathe & rip bloody chunks out of them with my bare hands & furious teeth until the cops taser me into a twitching heap.
FUCK IT. I am a (relatively) skilled artist and a good person.
I DEMAND BETTER THINGS IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW, I AM SICKA THIS SHIT!
LOVE
MONEY
CIRCUMSTANCES
I DEMAND IT